Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and many other social media sites, help keep people and communities together and up to date on all of our lives. We learn about who has a new job, who is having a baby and whose political views differ from another. Sounds promising and helpful, but is it?
There was a blond lady who boarded an airplane and took a seat in first class. However, she only had a coach class ticket. The stewardess came to her and informed the blond that she had to move back to coach class. To this the blond responded “I’m blond, I’m beautiful and I am going to California.” Taken aback the stewardess got the head steward to talk to the blond woman. When the steward informed her she had to move the response was the same, “I’m blond, I’m beautiful and I am going to California.” The steward got the co-pilot who talked to the woman and the same response was given, I’m blond, I’m beautiful and I am going to California.” Finally they went to get the pilot to talk to the blond.
A DEA agent comes to the door of an old Texas rancher and demands to search the grounds under suspicion that the rancher was growing illegal drugs. The rancher said “That’s fine sir, you can go anywhere you want, just don’t go in that field over there.” To which the DEA agent pulled out his badge and said “do you see this badge? This badge is backed by the full permission of the United States Government. It says that I can go where I want, when I want and do whatever I want because I am a duly appointed deputy of this government.” “Alright sir” the rancher replied and went about his chores. A while later a scream was heard from the field that the rancher had told the agent to stay out of and there was the agent tearing across the field with the rancher’s prized bull in hot pursuit. To this the rancher jumped on the fence and hollered out “show him your badge! Show him your badge!”
Ma, Pa and their young son have lived in the country their whole life. They finally decided that they wanted to go into the city to see what there was to see there. They load up the family wagon with supplies for the day and the three of them hop in and ride into the city. The first stop they make is a shopping mall, which was something the likes of which they had ever seen before. As soon as they step in the door Ma is overtaken and runs off to look at the various shops leaving Pa and his son standing dumfounded. They look and they see a pair of metal doors a little ways away from them. As they watch, an old lady hobbles up to the doors, pushes a button next to them and the doors open. She steps in and the doors close. Pa and his son watch the numbers on top of the doors go up, and then back down and when the doors open again a bombshell blonde steps through the doors. Pa looks at his son and says “Go find your Ma”!
A man walks into a cigar bar in Chicago and buys three cigars. He then goes to a chair in the corner, lights all three and puffs on one, then the next, then the next and so on. Finally the manager gets curious and asks him why he is smoking like this. The man replies that he has two brothers and that one had moved to Europe and another to Australia to pursue careers. One of their favorite past times had been smoking cigars so before they left all three agreed to smoke like this from time to time so it was like they were all together again. The manager thought this was a neat idea and continued on with his duties.
Hello again friend! If you are reading this I know you and you know me because I know everyone and everyone knows me. You believe me right? Well, if you don’t you are not alone, I had a friend of mine that did not believe me either, so I told him to name someone. He said “fine, Tom Cruise”. I said “Oh ya, I went to high school with Tom we are good buddies”. So we flew out to Hollywood and went to Tom’s house. We knocked on the door and he answered and said “Hey Jeff! Good to see you again!
A grandfather and his grandson are having breakfast when the grandfather asks his grandson to hand him the newspaper. The grandson looks up from his IPad and says “Grandpa, this is the 21st century. We have electronic gadgets that are 100 times better than a crummy newspaper. For instance, with my IPad here I can look at 10 different news sources in that many minutes and get 100 times more information than a paper. Here,” he says, handing his IPad to his grandfather, “I already pulled up Fox news for you.” Let me tell you, that fly never knew what hit it.